David never lavishes me with sweet nothing’s whispered in my ear. I’m lucky to get a passing kindness expressed by him. Sometimes though, and the rarity is what makes it so special, he blows me away with the sweetest words. The two nicest things he ever said to me are:

1.” I should have known that when I was praying for God to send me someone like you, she would be pretty weird.”

And

2. “I know she really know you, because she likes you.”

*swoon*

Today Corbin and Kyle are going camping. I’ll drop Cole in the morning because he has to work tonight. I’m reading a book about writing to try to help make these blog posts a little less sucky. I’m so grateful for this day.

Morning birds sing
Since 3am though
Are they mourning a loss?
Go to sleep little birdies
Let your little birdy pain be replaced with the joy
Knowledge
Faith
You can fly!

Corbin sent me a message this morning that he needed a pill bottle for a project at school. I donned my snazzyist jogging pants and jacket to cover my stretched-out sleeping shirt, and hopped out the door to drop it off on the drop-off table. When I arrived there were a whole bunch of people in line in the office. Since I needed to send a message to Corbin’s classroom to tell him I had dropped the stuff, I had to get in line amongst all of the other fancy folks in all my semi-disheveled glory. Clearly most of these people had come from work for something special. When I walked through the door, a cheerful lady asked, “Are you the parent of a Magnificent Mustang.” I looked down at the Walgreens variety knock-off Crocs I was wearing and just said, “Um no, just a regular old mustang today.” The truth is that poor Corbin is probably never going to get the distinction of being Magnificent anything here in The Woodlands. If 10 kids are talking, Corbin gets singled out and sent into the hall. Unfortunately my child has been “labeled” at some point, and can do no right. The thing about him is that he is exceptional. Like truly exceptional. His creativity and sweetness can be unparalleled by any other 12-year-old I have ever met. The problem is that he is mischievous and unfortunately he hasn’t mastered the teacher-winning-over Eddie Haskell thing. I pray that one day a teacher will truly take the time to see and know him someday. It’s partly my fault. We live in a place chock full of “Helicopter Moms.” I tried to be one, but I require gainful employment in my life. Schools here don’t have teacher’s aides like most schools have because there are just so many moms around they don’t need them. That is a really great thing because we can afford to pay the teachers a bit more with the funds that weren’t used on aides, giving us the ability to have super awesome teachers. Unfortunately it causes a culture of unprofessional gossip and exclusiveness because the parent volunteers aren’t trained or held to any standards regarding their interpersonal relations. So in addition to the fact that he can be a stinker, that’s another one of the ways he has been labeled. He has lots of friends but never gets invited to parties etc. It’s just the way it is here. I could probably have a whole bunch of meetings and raise a big stink which would ultimately just hurt his situation more. I know that God has a plan for Corbin and he has placed him in this seemingly impossible situation to teach him (and me) something he will need. All I can do is trust God, and continue to love my secretly Magnificent Mustang.

It’s true. Please don’t tell Bob Goff. I was working in the workbook of one of the 8 or so bible studies I’m currently participating in, and I realized it. My excuse is that my church is awesome, and simply offers too much cool stuff. Usually I’m only working on a few at a time, but ’tis the season of Lent so I’ve picked up a few extras. Admitting you have a problem is the first step right?

In my defense I have this strong urge to understand God in a way that I can share with others without feeling like I’m leading them off course. I don’t know, maybe that’s not quite it actually. Whatever the reason, I truly believe that the Holy Spirit is in and around me leading me to things that I’m meant to understand. A year ago I would have never thought of uttering that statement without feeling weird and uncomfortable in the extreme.

I feel so close to God right now. I know I’m able to say this because of the deeper understanding I have about His true nature, and the relationship He wants with me. So call me what you will, I think Jesus doesn’t mind a bit.

I’m so thankful to be a Methodist. Monday in my Lenten bible study one of our pastors, Jessica LaGrone, taught about breath prayers. She mentioned a book by Anne Lamott, Help, Thanks, Wow! I love that book and that author. She’s so real and relatable, but kinda edgy by a lot of religious standards. I love love love the fact that my pastor stood up in the fancy chapel of our church, and recommended this book. A girl in my ladies bible study today agreed with me. It gives me such hope that this town isn’t totally full of mindless female robots!

On another note, God was working full time to give me a new potential part-time job. I’m so excited!! I’m anxious to see what happens next.

My children are amazing. I know that all moms think that about their babies, but mine really are. Sometimes other adults approach me with (literally) tears in their eyes to tell me how amazing they think my children are too. I say all of this to preface the fact that they are lazy little monsters and I frequently flip out because they just seem to be strolling through life without a care in the world. They are missing so many opportunities. The problem here is with the end of the last sentence that I didn’t type. “They are missing so many opportunities… That I never had.” That’s right sports fans, once again we find that I’m trying to make the world all about me. I’m trying to force my will where it is futile. I have to let God have the situation. There is nothing I can do. I pray that God would give me the words to say and the things to do to motivate them, but I can assure you that the words I use to discuss the situation are most definitely NOT God words. So I’m putting this situation in a little box and handing it over to God today. I have said I would do this before and I keep on meddling. That’s all over now.

My brain is fried. All day I have felt like I’m floating. I have turned the stress and worries I can’t do anything about, over to God. There is just so much uncertainty. I can’t let myself worry about it. I know God is in control. Today in the Lenten worship Jessica LaGrone taught us about breath prayers. You breathe in while saying your name for God, and out with a brief prayer statement. Mine was “God, Help Me.” So I feel like that is what He is doing. He has laid this blanket of numbness over me so I can’t feel. I am so thankful for this break. I’m just going to continue breathing in and out, and go forward. When opportunities come up, I’ll pray, pursue, evaluate, pray, and decide. I am so thankful right now.

The spring garden is 80% planted! The only things left are peppers, carrots, and flowers. It was so nice having the kids (minus Corbin who was as my mom’s) helping this weekend. Kyle’s girlfriend also showed up to pitch in. I think she’s a keeper.

A little while ago I decided to try to stop hating Mondays. I try to force myself to think of them as new beginnings rather than the painful return to the daily grind. Opportunity instead of torture. Today is Monday. New great things are going to happen today. That is all.